Embody My Oblivion

RAMBLINGS

An all too ordinary story, with aftertaste so bitter
Forced to be someone I don't want to be
I'm losing myself... sinking deeper down
I'm caught in the world wound web

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Shaun was using the internet in the middle of the night. He tends to get restless and night, and fortunate for him, he finally got his broadband and uses the internet for lengthy hours when night falls upon the part of his homeland. He joined facebook, a networking communication and connection website. He added a profile without a single picture of the person which is kinda awkward for someone to not even upload a single picture in a profile which is active. The profile displayed that the owner of the profile was a female.
Her name was Cassie. She accepted his request a few minutes after he added her and posted him a comment on his wall. Unbelievable a long comment for such a short time right after she accepted his friend request. A comment of showing gratitude and appreciation for his add. He was overwhelmed by her usage of language, so vintage britainia style, as if she came from the anglo-saxon period. She must be a really smart and folkish kind of girl, thats what he thought about her. He replied her.. And for a moment, theres no reply..Before signed off, a comment came in onto his wall, its from her again.. She said.. 'Sorry for the late reply, I will talk to you soon. Before you sign off now, have a sweet dream =)'.. How does she know he is signing off? This intrigued him for a moment but he was too sleepy to bothered it for awhile.
The next night came, Shaun sign into his windows live messenger, and there she is, she added him. She is quite of an efficient girl. Full of enthusiasm to make friends around. He wonder if she is cute or pretty or anything gorgeous. He still had his standards though, he won't date anyone he knew from the internet. The action somehow represents the society of desperados. She is onlined in his messenger, he click on her email to open the chatbox. He was halfway typing hello when suddenly a huge HELLO came into sight signalling the first word and the start of a chatting session. Another sentence pop out stating 'Haha, Im faster than you, I said hello first'.. Shaun was stoned, how the fuck did she knows he had wanting to say hello to her. He shrugged it off thinking she might have somekind of extreme high tech software installed in her program to know all this scrutinized informations in the web and instant messengers programs. They started chatting and getting to know each other better virtually.
They had been chatting for a couple of weeks and without Shaun realising it, he does enjoy talkin to her and he might have develop a feeling for her and maybe same way as well but he still can't be too naive and neglect the fact that virtual realities aren't the same as total hardcore fucked up reality the world is in now. This is just false fantasies in his mind to kill off his time. One day, he was feeling really emotional and self-contempt plus low self-esteem. He had been having a very bad hair day.. He went online and it seems Cassie too is having a bad hair day as well, he share his feelings with her and told her how he wish she was here with him. She replied 'You don't have to wish cause Im always there with you, in fact by ur side all the time, Im down cause I can't stand seeing you down. I want you to be happy..'..Shaun was like WTF IS SHE SAYING, AT MY SIDE?..what she meant shes always with me. Shaun felt a breeze in his dark room only illuminated by his monitor screen. There she replied again, 'Im always with you, Im in fact now beside you. Holding on to you'.. Shaun felt a slight cold brush on his right hand. His heart race a million times faster than the speed of light, he could pass out any moment now. Yet he still had a little boost of his strength to look to his right, his eyeballed turn follow by his head and a head was beside him on his right, closed to him, half of the faced covered with long thick hair and the other half that shows her eye looking back at him. Her white-shot eyes that had signs of despair and contempt. Shaun knows his fact of futility. He passed out and fall back from his chair..
He wakes up to find himself on the bed of white sheets and blanket. He is in the hospital. He clearly remembered what happen and was really traumatized to even move out of his bed. But he knows he got to do something. He went down from his bed, he almost fell, his leg still felt frailed. He thought to himself he must have passed out for a couple of days without food and water. He went to the desk and ask if he could use the computer for the moment, and lucky for him, the nurse brought him to a mini lounge where there is computer and internet service. He log into facebook, search for Cassie profile, he thought the profile must have been only his imaginary thoughts made up by her and if the profile still exist she must still be around and that only meant 1 thing, she is still with him. But he couldn't careless anymore, if it still is around, he gotta find out what she wants from him. Cassie profile is still accessible. There is nothing out of the blue since the last time he visited her profile. He caught a glimpse at her pictures, and as far as he remembered, the last time he access into this profile there is not a single pictures and there is now an amount of 10000 pictures in Cassie's photo album. He clicked to access her pictures. It seems like the pictures setting were in the era of the 80s or 90s. First few pages it was an ordinary picture of her, she really is beautiful. Her long smooth dark hair matched with her fairly maiden face. There are pictures of her with a handsome guy that might be her fiance, based by the way they took pictures together hand in hand an hugging each other and some displaying her kissing him on his cheek. Shaun browse more and more and to an extend his eyes almost buldged out in horror. There are pictures of her getting raped by not 1 but a group of guys, seem like a gang-rape-banging session. Even the rape was shown so meticulously and disturbing. Then he got to the section where she was tied to a table and was continuously raped while she was being hogtied, and soon another depict a guy bringing in a butcher knife and cut her stomach open while she is wide eyed awake. They took out of some sort of a pre-mature foetus. She was pregnant. They wrapped the foetus in a paper bag and burned int in front of her very eyes. She seem to be in great sadness and anger as she struggle so hard to get her off the table and reached for her burning pre-mature child in the paper bag. Her left hand broke out of the rope that tied her hand and tried to reach for the child, then suddenly another man came and dismembered her left hand with a machete. This seems like pictures depicting of her horrible past life when she was human, its really disturbing and agonising yet the scent of sorrow with grief and sadness fills the vibe. She struggle with her only hand now that is her right hand and successfully broke free as well, she got up and grab the guy holding her burning foetus by the neck and pierce her sharp fingernails into his throat, he dropped the burning foetus onto the table and she grab it as if it weren't hot at all. The other guy came and angered by what she had did to his friend, he slit her throat with the machete while others just stand watch in horror. She fell to the table bleeding and burning to death with her foetus. Her eyes remain intake and opened staring at the foetus..
The next picture then skip the part of her death, and shown a group of cops came into the abandoned building 5 days after the heartless incident. To Shaun's surprise, the cop found the foetus still in its original shape as though not hurt by any blade or flames but the only the ashes of the burned woman whom is Cassie. Shaun goes to the next page and the connection seem to lagged or could it be a problem with facebook? He refreshed countless times, but pictures wouldn't appear. A cold hand tap on his shoulder, he turned around quickly to realise its just a nurse asking if he needs any favour. Shaun said no thank you and smiled to her. He told her he could handle on his own. He went back to facebook. And it shows Cassie main page profile, the pictures are all gone. There are not a single pictures anymore in the her profile. Shaun is confused and tired, he couldn't take this anymore.
The next morning, he was told he is able to be discharge from the hospital. Shaun ask the doctor, who charged him into the hospital. The doctor said,"Its a young woman by the name of Cassie, she claim to be your best friend or something like that, and must I admit she is really beautiful." "How was I when I came here on the first night?"."You seem to be in a fit and also quite hysterical and you had a severe bump on the back of your head and that could explain why you were in that state, it hit the vital arteries there. Then you fell asleep and we thought you were in coma due to the fact you fell asleep for like almost a week as far as I can remember" "Wow, I can't remember that, I guessed you erased some part of my memory while you were fixing my mind, thanks alot anyway. But is there anyone visiting me at the moment?". "HAHA, you seem so unbelievably calm now, as though I had 2 different patient of the same body. Yea, there is, but she only visits you when you were asleep, surprisingly after you were so called revived, she did not visit you very often anymore and the one visits you is only Cassie herself that sent you in, she seems to care for you alot. Must be your girlfriend or something." The thought of girlfriend send chilld down Shaun's spine, he felt a slight nauseas out of a sudden. "Well doc, you meant she does not visits me often means she stills visit me?". A nurse that brought in he's lunch overheard the conversation and told him "Yea, she still visits you but only at night when you were asleep..Thats kinda weird, she use to visits you in the day as well when you were unconscious for almost a week."..Shaun thought to himself. "Alright, thanks for the info, it really helps." Shaun smiled back to both the doctor and the nurse after the lil words of showing his gratitude to them. Shaun decided to spend another night in the hospital since.
That night, Shaun pretended to have a shut eye while waiting for Cassie to come. He waited for a moment, no sign of her. He waited struggling keeping himself wide awake while shutting his eye so he won't fall asleep. He felt he really waited for far too long and no one came, not even a single footsteps accept for the faint sound of footsteps of nurses doing their round outside the ward at the main corridor of the floor. Shaun is fading into his dreams, he is fading into his oblivious stint in his dream. He tried to hang on longer but he can't, she is not coming tonight is what he thought. In his sleep he dreamt of a young lady, a beautiful young lady. She was really closed to him. He could felt the scent of her cold breath. She grab his hand, it felt soft and cold yet it makes his heart felt warmth. Shaun open his eyes out of a sudden and looked to his side. Finally, he saw her. He gripped her hand harder to avoid her from fleeing at the sight of seeing him awake and to proof she had failed in her attempt this time of being incredulous discreet. Shaun toughen up his guts to look straight into her eyes, she was really beautiful this time unlike the time he first saw her in his room. Shaun proving he had guts blurted out "Why are you not showing yourself this time round? I thought you're always so called beside me or with me or whatever isit? And wheres that demented horrendous look of yours?" Shaun can't believe what the fuck he had just said, holy shit he thinks he had awaken the sleeping giant. She smiled back and said "I was afraid I will give you the same medicine like how you were when you got here at first, it was really hurting to see that. I took my risk to show you my true colours at that moment to see if you could accept it but were just like any other humans to my disappointment. You been hanging out too much with humans and watching all sorts of horror movies to scare the wits out of you.". "Oh man, what the hell are you talking, I am human. You speak as though I was not meant to be one, and I hangout with humans, not any ghost or creatures like you which I din't know anything bout it at 1st when i knew you through facebook, I told you were so sincere to tell me evrything about you. You could have just told me you were an entity trying out facebook". "How silly of you, You speak as though you're still gonna talk to me if you know what I really am at that time." "I am talking to you now.." ."oh yea, right..You are talking to me now, even ghost are completely flawless alright despite my so called powers. Have you seen the pictures in facebook? and your hand suppose to have brain freeze now". "OUCH! yea, damn, you should have told me how long I had grab your hand to keep you from running!..yea, that reminds me! I was horribly stricken by what I saw there, Im so sorry, Im really am so sorry of what had happened to you. But I think you do not want to show me the rest cause the page wont open for next pages of pictures right after the cop took your foetus away". "Shaun, cause I think I must let you know that by my own words you are gonna hear it soon.". "Yea! Tell me, Im really fucking curious you know. Man, I think Im gonna know more of your background more than my own family ones, I got no family other than my nanny who adopted me". "Well, now you are going to know everythin about me and you. You know the foetus you just seen in there. If you think its dead, its not. In ironic fact, you are that foetus, Shaun.". "You gotta be kidding me...You're my mum!? Well it would be a total paradise dream to have a hot mum but still..Theres no way that foetus could survive unless it has became inhuman". "you and your fantasies..seriously, lame...When I was on my bridged to my death, I was almost there. That foetus was already burned and dead but it was given life again miraculously when I was looking at you till my death, it seems the last remains of my life was transfered out through my dead eyes which were facing you and it saved your soul from being totally dragged out to hell. You survived in the end and I died, since then, u were not completely human, ur soul is mixed with ones of the dead whom is me. I do not know why you din't felt the difference between you and typical humans, instead you became one". Shaun cried, he had tears crawling down his cheeks from his eyes. His mother had been through so much to keep the final remains of his soul intake within him. And he finally met his mum.. They had a mum-child conversation for the whole night.

It may have been a happy ending after all, but this is only the beginning of the true horrors to come..Which Shaun didn't see it from the very start of his new life..

Another Ordinary Story at Wednesday, August 12, 2009;

Monday, August 3, 2009

Hafiz aka Morfiz on the left and Addi Araya on the right. Infinite Terror's drummer and bassist!! They are more than meets the eye of the beholder, they maybe the deathiest, blackiest, thrashiest human I ever met and yet 1 of the nicest group of friends and members I ever met as well. I met hafiz when Im working in Tangs and was hanging out with the earliest metalheads friends I just knew after like a week or so working there at Tangs, and I was introduced to hafiz..Another friend of mine told me about his friend who played drums on a 2 song death metal EP that is left in Tangs,. The drumming was fucking amazing, it incarcerated my mind for the moment cause it sounded alot like those old school death metal band drummings. I found out later its Hafiz that plays the drum in it with his former band. I knew Addi through hafiz, he is part of the Necro Agony band that made the EP I heard and he played rhythm guitars in there, Its been 2 years since he jammed, he was somehow entranced by what we jammed and became mass hypnotized and decided to join us, as our bassist, thats when he started playing bass and in a couple of months,. Its too short for someone to be good at it, but he really managed to be darn good at it, after my 3 month stint in NS is finally over, there I was bombard by his metal thrashin corpse crushing baptized in bassistism of his. FUCK YEAH! I love Infinite Terror! Thrash up butcher destructor!

Heaven studio, a studio in Pandan Indah which is situated damn far at the corner of an isolated shopping mall beside the hospital (which I kinda forgot the name, pantai ampang or sumthn) that held gigs and jamming session which I just found out after all this while.

Some random animation office board which is so fucking massive and cool at the same time. Right beside heaven studio, pandan indah.

Hanif on the left and his nephew on the right. My hangout buddies this days, Hanif a former schoolmate and bandmate of mine which we still keep in touch and as great buddies to crap along and exchanging personal stories with each other, I knew him wen I just got into sri garden at the age of 16. Despite his very youthful age of Yusof, he is cool to crap along as well, an ardent fan of deathcore and metalcore! We went to a gig which is at heaven studio in pandan indah, we walked almost everywhere, and finally when we were giving up hope and hanif started to squat out of tireness and me being blur and annoyed by the fact we can't find any sign of it. He ranted out "Mane studio ni?" then out of the blue as if the divine highlord gave us a sign, we the sound drums which is sum random double bass pedal work, and there we are, my infuriated anger finally cease of after we saw the mini sign board that stated out the studio name. It was hilarious, it was as if in movie where the character is giving up hope and suddenly a sign came out to show tat he is only a step further from his destiny. FUCKING AWESOME!

An outing with Irfan, Mimi, and Hannah who just came back to malaysia for the summer holidays..welcome back hannah..I was expecting her to turn more british than usual, but it seems Hannah will always be Hannah..HAHA..it was nice to follow them into boutiques and hyper high standards accessories shop like prada and gucci which I had never entered b4 in my entire life and that somehow gave me a chance to have the first time. Its kinda awkward being in there, too plain awkward..HAHA..Im never ever gonna be some girls rich boyfriend..no way!

A picture I found in a blog link given by winnie. The blog belongs to a friend of hers which is my camp mate in NS, but I totally forgot about her. I can't even recall eventhough I had great alacrity to remember who is that. The world is way damn small for humans like everyone of us.

Another Ordinary Story at Monday, August 03, 2009;

Sunday, August 2, 2009

My blog is dead, and oblivious to the world. How cool can that be? Theres someone who seems to hate me, there somethings wrong with something around me, theres something not right around me,. And how cool can that be again? Im getting fucking rusty right now.. Decaying through gangrenous process at home and on the realistic world outside,. Having action-packed fun like hell fantasy dreams of never-ever-will-ever-exist land of vikings, fairies, pixies, pagans, elves, kenders, and bla bla bla you name it..
College is still a month from now, gonna fucking end my 3 month stint at home unemployed! The longer staying unemployed the more utterly exaggerating nonsense forming thru the membrane of my brain cells that connects to the mind. And cause major fucking blockage to the flow of my chakra powers to reach moksa..=,=''..Liberty won't come my way! been goin out alot this days rendezvous with old friends of my own and strolling around being hang by the noose of my nothingness and boredom..OH OH! I finally had sisha last friday nite!..Felt so good beb!. at Taman Dagang pulak tu, rm10 je, not bad for the standards of ampang currency. Im updating here is also for the sake of my big friend Aryton who claims this blog is dead.HAHA..BRO, its not dead, its just being hibernated!!

Another Ordinary Story at Sunday, August 02, 2009;

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

A GALLANT ATTEMPT TO GROWL SCREAM THE WORD "RAPE!!" 10 TIMES IN 1 SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another Ordinary Story at Tuesday, June 30, 2009;

OK, heres the big deal about something said by a friend of mine that sounds uptight wrong to me and it start to make me feel so fucking weird when Im typing this thing. She said blogging is for attention seekers! Holy Muthafuck! I do it for the purpose of killing my god damn loads of free time now, my blog doesn't have anything personal, dn't really says what I do everyday, and I always speak of random, ok thats it..no more..I aint saying more man!..damn, Im really mortified by those words..neh, whatever!..HAHA!
There's nothing much to say here nor do I had any pictures to post, Infinite Terror is growing on well, just can't wait for it to publish its first EP or demo, and to perform in it's first gig and more and more! I gotta rectify if there's anything not right about it. It must be a success this time. Thrash till burning death! I always have pensive thoughts about myself, what am I going to do, what am I going to achieve. Am I going to be able to do what I want in the future? Time is ticking seconds by seconds in a blink of the third eye, there you go..Its already 30 years in the future and what have i done so far?.Stop being fucking pensive!
To forgive is to suffer, a song by Death, a very meaningful death metal with the most realistic straight to the point about life in this world. "To accept another day we choose, to give away another piece of life,to forgive is to suffer"
"Once or twice is kind, three or four is blind, it is not the end yet a way to begin,the power of words both good and bad." An ambivalent feeling flow right through piercing into the core of my heart to notice the fact that it is that forgiving a soul is increasing your tormented level in life. To accept again the apologies of somebody is to give away another vital piece of your life, you bare the pain and showing fake faces that you are happy and had forgiving him/her, but you are not, the grudges in you evolutionised into great contempt about that someone, you infuriate to the extent of unbearable heights..There, what have you done...Nothing is perfect in this world, humans are mostly sad beings if you look in a way that is more meticulously obfuscate for the naked mind..scrutinized yourself, who are you and what are you?..the inferiority that holds your free soul..that shall give you throes to perdition sooner or later..

Another Ordinary Story at Tuesday, June 30, 2009;

Thursday, June 18, 2009

The music scene within the chinese people, everyone knows how much of pop and love songs they do. They are so well known for that till many metalheads of other race and culture thinks the chinese just can't metal or they don't even metal at all in their homeland. Think again, china took 10 years to learn to play metal and to get themselve indulge into the metal music scene. Just 10 years, we might think they are still an amateur in it. Please do doubt that and witness for yourself the brutality and darkness in their world of the underground. Due to the government of china which is against that kind of music, it makes them hard to get them known into the world and kept them only within their space of oblivion till no one even knows they existed. But who give a fuck about it, darkness reigns in china hell alot more than the 18 level of hell than we expected. Thanks to those famous humans like jay chou, lee hom and the rest. They are what they are known as how they are known now, chinese are mostly lovey dovey poppishes and they can't metal hard. RIGHT? CHINESE just can't metal!..Do take a look at whats below now...this is actually who the chinese are within their dark emotions.. The darker side of china/hong kong/taiwan, that actually could make the country truely proud of themselves and be a massive part of the metal underground league in the world.. and my most sincere apologies if I hurt anyone with what I said earlier..thank you

Ritual Day, 1 of china's first wave of extreme metal, they played melodic black metal.

Tang Dynasty, China's very own first heavy metal band.

Frosty Eve, chinese melodic death metal.

Metal Wing, China melodic death metal..

Lacerate, China's Thrash metal!!!! Thrash til burning death!

Suffocated, China's Thrash metal!!!..

Beeline, China's Thrash/death metal!

Chaotic Aeon, China's death metal, OLD SCHOOL DEATH METAL.

Tiefutu, China's melodic death metal.

Ego Fall, China's melodic metalcore/death metal. Very folkish Mongolian sound! Chinese folk metal element!

Spring Autumn, China's heavy metal with folk influence, Kaiser Kuo the founder of Tang Dynasty is a part of this!

Empylver, China's folk/doom/black metal, very beautifully rendered music.

Midwinter, China's black metal.

Wrath of Despot, China's black metal.

Heresy , China's Thrash metal!

There are still loads and loads of it, too much to find, too much to hear, to much to see, too much to feel. Come to think of it, they are mostly thrash,death,black which kept them to the true roots of metal, it makes things way alot better than playing those typical trendy metalcore, hardcore and deathcore which is in very minimum amount in that country. Support the underground metal scene. The conclusion, THRASH/DEATH/BLACK METAL FOR NEVERENDING ETERNITY!!!!!!

Another Ordinary Story at Thursday, June 18, 2009;

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Randomly taking pictures for the sake of using up a few moment of my free time. In the meantime, I'm also trying to distract Irfan while he is driving with my handphone camera flash, JENG JENG, take that!!

- Random -

Another Ordinary Story at Tuesday, June 16, 2009;

Monday, June 15, 2009

Delta flag of kumpulan 2 siri 6/2009 kem KKB. DELTA SAKTI

DELTA!!!! GELAK GELAK DELTA!!

After the end of the closing ceremony...everyone start going around asking for contacts and taking pictures..

The almighty KKB marching field.... The place where all formal marching events is held including the marching competition.

Me and Ah Boy aka Chen Woon (our ajutun)

The majlis penutup board!

My dorm Q2, after successfully completed our task of cleaning and washing up our dorm..

FULL LORENG, Im gonna miss that attire..

On the night of the farewell ceremony..

On the way back home to putrajaya

Dorm cleaning washing soldiers, that sacrifice our life for the sake of our dorm cleanliness.

A view from my bed..

Nice patch of armpit hair, isn't it??

DELTA once more!!

Our obstacle course field where we did our kembara halangan competition.. Delta is 2nd, we got 2nd!!

Me and Ling, both of the same company, she and her gang just love to laugh at my cantonese slang, they gave me a nickname Ngau Keng and Chou Yeh.hahaha..See that look of mine that is suppose to be a dumb dumb look, Im trying to look bad in her camera. HAHAHA!

Me and Ngah Qi, shes my classmate in the Kenegaraan class, and she found out I could actually understand and speak some cantonese when we were both on our way home in the bus back to Putrajaya.

Our company candid picture, for the ones who is gonna leave soon in the month of May.

Same delta picture as above..

Group pic..

Ekram and me, one of my close buddy there, he is an extremely good dancer and a shuffler, can check out his videos in youtube by typing in 'ekkem' with his performance at an Interact Installation Night at his homeland in Sabah. Miss that dude!.

The stage in the hall. Dewan Makan

The trainers table and chairs where they use to sit and watch us when we were lining up for role calls

Me and Emanuel. We were on our night duty. And it was really sleepy that time and as I could remember, I didnt slept that night till 3.30am, The time I finished my shift. The only night I stayed awake that long. It was Emanuel last duty that time as he too was going back home early. And he is the camp KKB cube puzzle master!

A candid group picture when we were grouping up for the night's activity.

Me and Elister, my best buddy in the camp, the one that keeps me company when we were alone, talking bullshits and crap and becoming sohai more or less like how it shown in the pic above. He too went back early to continue pursuing his studies, and he is currently studying in KL, Im gonna getcha man!! The SOHAI PAIR WE ARE!!..HAHAH WTHFH@@!!!!!

Me and Winnie, the first chinese I spoke Malay with in the camp as it is far more easier for us to communicate that way. HAHA.. She was really really a nice girl and nice to me too.. Knew her in Christian night class which I smuggle myself into.. All the best to you in Sarawak.

A view of the cafeteria from the car, the place where I get my supplies of buns and buns and buns......

erm.........wth...

another.......

The long road to the gate entrance of kem KKB..

The Commander and staff little chalet.

The Dewan Delima, where we had our registration into the camp, our thursday Buddhist night class, and the place where my family and I will sit and talk and eat the food brought by my family on the family visiting day every Sunday.

Chairs in the Dewan Delima..erm..for us to sit

The football field ahead and the mountains way ahead..

...............

It was the 4th day of the camp, and I got bald a couple days back in the picture. It was my first time in my life shaving my hair off to this extend. Just look at me how sour do I look in there, my precious hair =((.. T.T.. But Im still so called bald right now, quite used to it but still I want back my hair, I want it long and long.

Dark above, bright below, as above as below..

On the final morning in the camp, waiting for the time to come to get onto the bus for all of us to go home...

One of the sunday's that my family came to visit me. =DDD

PERBARISAN TAMAT LATIHAN

Listening and listening and listening and listeninggggg and listennninnnggggggggg.......zzzzzzzzzzzz

On mother's day celebration in the camp before we were to go home for our semester break holidays. Too much of XOXO, hugs and kisses from dearly beloved mum..

Watch the children pray....At the beautiful and scenic Kam Long Temple..

The dewan makan, far left is Alpha dining table, follow up by Bravo, Charlie and Delta.

A group picture of the chinese students on our last visit to usual near by temple we always visit on every ordinary sunday morning. in the middle is Cikgu Michael!!

Me and Poon..wooooott

Me, Kevin, Peter.

The majority chinese trainee group picture at the Kam Long temple..

Falling down the holy steps..yippeee..

BARIS SEDIA!!

Charlie's company trademark.

Bravo's company trademark. YOU CAN'T SEE ME!!!!!

Alpha's company trademark..

Delta's company trademark..

Thats all..

Another Ordinary Story at Monday, June 15, 2009;

PLKN. Program Latihan Khidmat Negara also known in english as National Service Training Programme (NS = National Service). I got to know that I was choosen to join the NS training programme around bla bla after the mid term break of 2008. I was devastated upon gaining the news from the sms I sent. It went like 'TAHNIAH anda telah dipilih untuk mengikuti Program Latihan Khidmat Negara". They even could congratulate me for getting choosen. DAMN!!..I got no choice back then but to go for it......Well, at least I got some friends of mine who is in the same camp as I am..

19 March 2009, thats the day I depart from my family to Kem Bina Semangat, Kuala Kubu Bharu. I was really afraid of what the hell Im gonna face there. The people that Im gonna meet, friends, trainers and so on. I even thought that I would have a chance to encounter a ghost face on for the first time in my life!! Life was tough, at first with so many feelings going on inside of me and the gruesome fearsome way of the trainer that kinda give me the heat of tension. They were quite fierce when we first got there. The first week past as though a month had past. Time feels like its just crawling with the speed of 1 second per hour. I miss my family alot and I knew how much they miss me too especially my mum whom I always argue with before, I actually started to appreciate home even more that is appreciating my mum, dad, and my brother alot more than I usually do. Being a callow child in the family yet being disobedient and delinquent by fighting back words harshly that hurt them alot and being someone who just doesnt care is what I did alot before and I really felt so fucking bad and do not know how am I repent my sin towards it. I do not wanna be back the same ol' fucker back then. So I moved on by starting off in the camp..

I attended many classes there that is usually in the morning, ate six meals a day which made me gain 4 kg in a few weeks which is really alot for me. Gotta wake up every 5am from monday to friday and 6am plus plus on weekends. Gather for assembly every monday to friday morning at 6.30 am..We had physical activities in the afternoon including marching. In the meantime, I knew some friends especially and of cause my dormmates, 1 of my closest buddy is Elister Tan who is from Sabah is sleeping on the bed next to me, We usually talk crap and stuff when we really had free time for ourselves. I became his si foo of sohai-ness..hahaha..I became close to more people in my dorm as time past such as Ekram, Charles, our company leader Seelan, Emanuel, Hazrin and so on..and out of dorm, I met many more nice friends like big baby boy Aryton, Winnie, Ling (delta), Ping, Vivian the hyper, Chen Woon, Kelvin Low, Kelvin Chew, Kok Liong, Federik, Nun, Jasper, Ah Seng, etc etc and so on and on n on..But honestly, I was a very different person back in camp, Im not sociable at all, as in really really quiet compare to others whom they got loads of friends easily..oh, and Im from the DELTA company!!.YAY!!.

As time past there, we had ups and down in the camp, times we feel happy and times we feel sad and angry. Times we had fun, times we had to get down on our chest,. And many people start to leave and almost all my close buddies left on the month of May for colleges and stuff..Finally, the last week of the programme came, and then its 8 of June. We successfully completed the PLKN programme. Just like Suk Hwa once told me '..before you knew it, it will be over'..and yes, how do i not realise that time past really fast eventhough it felt really really slow inside. I came back and started walking the busy urban streets fill with transport and pedestrians and started questioning myself wether is this a dream, Im finally home..It felt wavy... Im catching up back with all I missed while Im in camp. I missed an important dates as well, my dad's birthday on the 24th April, first time Im not there at home with my dad when on the date of his birthday. I also missed her birthday on the 2nd June, which is maybe gonna be her final birthday in Malaysia, but Im glad she had her best birthday period and had loads of fun...

In the end, PLKN actually give quite a good experience and taught us many things and about how important discipline is in our lives. Like what Cikgu Faizul once taught us, a day always starts in the morning, if in the morning ur untidy and messy so you are gonna be that way for the whole day and so goes to life, when you start life in the beginning in a most unpleasant manner and indiscipline, so goes your life without discipline, in order and a good path. OH! and we learned new words too such as "sangap" which is the signature word of KEM KKB!!. I didn't expect myself to be quite positive after all the negativity in me. It just something that happens only once in a lifetime and only almost 3 months of your over 60, 70, 80 year of lifespan. KKB ARE YOU READY!!!!! =))

Signing off..

Another Ordinary Story at Monday, June 15, 2009;